do you remember 20th of january , when you confessed to me ... im sure you will not remember this day but to me its an unforgettable day .. that time i liked anthr person and really hated you for being so irritating . i was so annoyed by you .... and my friend has liked you for one year. i wanted to help her to have you, because shes been waiting for you.. i tried ways telling you to talk to her, but you just tell me you dont like her.. and slowly i fell in love with you on the 12th february..  i wanted to tell you, but i didnt have the courage. because im afraid you didnt like me anymore. ite i did. on the 7th of march, its the day i confessed to you and you said you still like me then. i was really happy on that day , and you told me you were happy too. you told me you're not ready , and wait til you're ready. i wasnt expecting anything or to be together then ... on the 9th march, just because of my friend telling you that someone already asked me for stead, so you said you were ready . i was ready then , so i accepted you .. just then , i wasnt really deep in love with you . i thought it was just a crush . slowly , i fell deeper and deeper in love with you .

on our first month , i bought a couple ring and engraved it . i gave one to you .. you gave me a cute little pink teddybear with a love saying " i love you " and a lovejar with sixty two hearts inside and a small note saying " iloveyou" .. i didnt know what does sixty two means , or it doesnt even have a meaning .. to me, its important and its my first and beloved present from you .on our first month you didnt send me home you apologised to me . i felt so angry but still i love you so i forgive you . and because of a girl in your class who is close to you, we had some conflicts. you kept apologising to me saying it wont happen anymore. but still we forgaved each other. i will never forget , that every recess we would meet in the library with my clique. and we would hold our hands tightly and talk . those moments is really so sweet , dont you think so.. on our second month, we didnt give each other anything ... i didnt even asked you if you want anything , but you did ask me if i want go to the movies and you would pay .. i didnt want to , because i dont wanna use your money . i dont want to spend a single cent on our relationship . not that i dont love you , i love you dearly .. for our first month i gave it an exception .  you gave me a kiss on my cheek in the lift when you were sending me home . i felt heaven seriously .  as time passes by , i realised you change when you knew one of my close friend . and i know i did changed too . when it was the last day of school of the first semester , i was hanging ard with my clique .. you didnt text me after schl and went off with your friends . i didnt mind anything ,when i texted you , you gave me the cold shoulders and i rly wanted to attitude to you .but my friend's boyfriend told me not to . instead he help me typed in the msg " baby i love you " . i was hesitating to press send , but ite i still did .

afterwards , we left schl .. then you sent me a long message saying that i changed and you didnt knew what to do . just then , i broke down immediately .... my friends were all shocked and asked me to chill down . when i was walking to jp with my friend and her boyfriend , her boyfriend ask me if i would cry again . i said i wont becuz im in jp . while we were walking ard in jp , you sent me a message to part . on the spot , i teared . my eyes were red and everyone was looking at me . we decided to go safra park and chill ... when we were there , i called enbei and told her we broke up . and i cried again )))))))))):   my friends sent me home to my block just like how you did . i went home , and cried for hours . i couldnt stop . then , my lover appeared and talked to me . she told me that you told her that i didnt cared about us . but actually i did .. so i poured everything out to you , leaving offline messages to you on msn . i asked my church friend to text you telling you to go online and see the messages i left . you text me afterwards , apologising to me .  after that day , we had to go schl to collect our report books , so i went with my mum . and i saw you otw there , i was surprised . you were doing something , your friend saw me and you looked up . i looked away because just then i really hated you alot. you texted me after that , saying you wanted to meet me to talk .. but when we were in jp , we walked past each other , you didnt even stopped me to talk . just then i thought we had no more chance . but still we patched back after three days because we knew we still love each other .

just then, we had 11 days more to our third month . you asked me what i want . i told you i want something which you dont have to spend a single cent ... so you cracked your brains just to think . one day before , you told me you would give me a kiss . at that moment, i wasnt ready for it . because i didnt thought of giving my first kiss so soon . so on our third month , we met at my hse staircase and i gave you my first kiss . you told me it was your first kiss too . i was really elated then . during the june holidays , we met numerous times to kiss because we were really into it and love each other so much . then you started coming my house ... our kisses are getting longer and longer . i really love it . when schl reopened , we didnt talked in schl when we saw each other which we dont know why . i was really pissed one day , and you said we have to talk . we met on the fourth floor during recess one day .. you hugged me tightly in your hands , apologised to me for not talking to me ....... and i forgave you . you gave in to me time and time , i felt so guilty .

slowly , our fourth month came . i wished you on 12midnight even though i was really tired but still i waited til 12midnight to wish you . when you woke up for schl , you apologised to me for not wishing me on 12 midnight . i was feeling abit upset , but still i didnt mind anything . in schl , i waited for your cca to end when mine ended earlier . you saw me after your cca , but you didnt approach me .. i didnt wanted to approach you because you was so happy with your friends . then my senior saw and called you to come . you came, and ask me what thing . i was really pissed off by what you said and walked off .  then on the 12th of july , i was staying back with my friend to do our hmwk , you couldnt accompany me because you had something on . when we texted , i was really upset . then you said you arent a good boyfriend to me .. you said maybe its better if we break . then two of my guy seniors came , i told them what happen ...  they asked if im okay because i kept laughing for no reasons . i laughed to keep my tears . that night , you said we had to talk . so we did . we talked for 3hours plus , and finally you said i had to let go on the 13th ..

After that day , i go to school everyday telling myself im a strong girl and pretended that nothing happened . i fake a smile to show you im okay . one day while you was having a friendly match , i sat there with my teammates to watch because i wanna watch you play . but i broke down )))): i ran to the toilet . and my friend chased after me . i cried and cried and cried . my friends all comforted me .. i was touched .  that day after you saw my blog post and texted me to asked if im okay, and i cheered up . i texted you everyday because you said if i wanted to chat , i could . slowly , you began coming my house . and we kissed . and we did alot alot alot things which we should :/  we arent stead anymore , but still we do what stead does . those moments , i didnt regret it . my friend was so unhappy and disappointed with my doings ....

but after what we did , we didnt text anymore . i decided to slowly let go and not text you ........................

we had a veryveryveryveryvery long story , that i dont want to forget ):  but i had to . its been 6months since we broke , i still havent let go yet .. during the 3d2n palau ubin camp , i kept looking at you i dont know why . sometimes you looked back , but i couldnt find a reason why i love you . but i realised theres someone better than you i could love .. and i think i crushed on him . whom is your friend ... i tried convincing myself that hes a better guy to love than to make myself suffer so much for you . and cry so much .. but right now typing this long post , i teared alotalotalot .

all i wanted is , to be friends with you . i want to be like how we used to be when we first knew each other ..................  these days without you , every night i would pray that you could text me and be friends back with me again . i've been asking god to grant it but ):    i was hoping a miracle would happen , and i believed that miracles will happen . im waiting , im really waiting for it to happen . because i know , you would talk to me again . you may not , because you had other girl .............................. and would not care about me anymore . i really want to know what are you thinking in your mind , whenever you looked at me . and i want you to know whats in my mind whenever i look at you .

God, give me this chance. give us this chance to talk and be friends again .  Can ?